Couple Counselling Alliance

Is couple counselling for me?
	What is ‘Couple Counselling’? (Also called 'Relationship Counselling' and sometimes 'Marriage Guidance') Having and keeping a healthy, happy relationship with your partner is not easy. Pressure from the normal things in life such as: Money worries Extended family Illness and bereavement Children or trying to conceive Caring responsibilities Work Getting older can all have a negative effect on our ability to relate well with each other. It’s no surprise really that thousands of people every year seek counselling to resolve some of the discord in what was once a loving relationship. Counsellors are all different.... Some people will use organisations such as Relate or the Tavistock Clinic in London. Others will seek out a specialist relationship counsellor in their area such as CCA counsellors. Whichever of these options you choose, the most important thing for you to consider is your relationship with the counsellor: Do you like her/him? Do you feel you can trust him/her? Do you think that you could work with her/him to make a difference to your relationship? Finding the right counsellor is really important. Counselling with Couple Counselling Alliance (CCA) is about: Being listened to Being acknowledged and valued as an individual and as a partner/spouse Having a private, confidential place to talk Both of you taking time out from normal life to reflect on your problems and plan different ways forward Working towards shared goals Making decisions Being accepted for the type of relationship you have and how you describe yourself for example whether married or co-habiting, straight or gay etc. And most importantly - talking with, and really listening to, your partner, and being heard and understood yourself Our CCA counsellors will NOT Judge you for any perceived or actual wrong doing Blame you Take sides Encourage you to stay together if that is not what you want Discriminate against you We believe that communication is key. Your first step in counselling will probably be to relearn how to relate to each other in a respectful way so that you can gain a greater awareness of yourself and your partner to help you through the difficult times. Do we need Couple counselling? When couples are having difficulties, they describe their relationships in many different ways. Does any of this sound familiar to you We’re always rowing We don’t seem to have anything in common any more Our past constantly gets in the way - we can’t move on We don’t enjoy sex or rarely have any intimate time together Not sure we love each other any more We don’t talk like we used to We’re only staying together for the children We’re not on the same wavelength We just can’t go on like this If so, or even if you see your own issues very differently, you may be one of the many couples who could do with some help – either to work on having a more mutually fulfilling and happy relationship together, or with deciding to separate in the least harmful way possible. This is where we come in. We are experienced in working with couples that have described their relationship in very similar ways. How does it work? Counselling works by talking to a third person (the counsellor) who is trained, experienced, objective and has no vested interest in the decisions you make – unlike albeit well intentioned family and friends. Counselling challenges unhelpful ways that you relate to each other and encourages you to take risks in relating to each other differently. Learning how to communicate well with each other again, leads to resolution of the difficult issues that you may be in conflict about. What about step-families? Where children from previous relationships become part of a new family, there are even more challenges than the usual (difficult enough!) life events. It can seem as if there are so many conflicting loyalties and demands for your attention, that the actual relationship doesn’t get a look in. It is also often difficult to deal with the baggage that you both bring from your previous relationships. We believe that if you are in this situation you deserve a lot of support to help resolve these particularly complex problems and work towards more positive and satisfying relationships for you, your partner and the children involved. How long will we be having counselling for? For most people who are thinking of having counselling the problems may have been going on for a long time. The length of time varies on what you want to work on. Some people prefer to come for a short time and others for longer. Change does take time. For lasting improvement you should expect to be seeing your counsellor for three to six months. What will I be committing to? We welcome your initial contact either by phone or e mail and are happy to answer any questions that you have about us or about the process of counselling to help you to decide whether you would like to arrange an initial session. When you have your first or second session with the counsellor, time will be set aside to discuss the practicalities in more detail. For example How often you would like to come How many sessions you will have before you review with the counsellor how it’s going What will happen if you have to cancel What will happen if the counsellor has to cancel What will happen if one or both of you don’t want to come any more How you will pay for the counselling. You will also be given information on: The Counsellor’s Code of Ethics Professional membership Complaints procedure There is no commitment for you to continue past the first session – you need to feel comfortable with your counsellor and that is the most important bit. So how much does it cost? You should expect to pay between £40 and £50 a session depending on the individual counsellor. What do I do now? Visit the "CCA Counsellor Profiles" page to read about the counsellor in your area. Her contact details will be on that page and you can telephone or email for more information or to make an appointment. If you leave a message, we will always endeavour to get back to you within 24 hours. Back to top